Third Rail: The Next Generation

Al is injured.  Third Rail needs a bigger roster.  The Edge has put out a call for subs.  He’s written a compelling article, reeking slightly of desperation, imploring you to join our motley crew incredibly hip team on Sunday nights.  Flo and The Hoff have another idea.  We’ve created a feeder team.  

Friday afternoons at the bowling alley are a big hit with the 13 and younger crowd.  What’s not to love?  Bowling, laughter, high fiving and dancing.  Lots of dancing.  Oh, and candy.  Love the candy selection at Lanes & Games!     

I loved watching the kids bowl.  None of the pressure to perfect your technique, it’s all about the fun.  Boo (5yrs) bowled candlepin with the little balls.   She held the ball high over her head, obviously practicing her sun salutations, before bringing the ball down to the floor and letting it roll.  Once the ball was on it’s way, she sat down, watching it slowly roll down the lane and JUMPED UP as pins went down.  Her other favorite technique was to throw the ball like a shot put.  This was the one and only time I was thankful she throws like a girl and didn’t dent the floor boards.  The boys (both 12yrs) bowled 10 pin.  They started out seriously, obviously intent on beating their mothers.  As the game wore on, they loosened up and started goofing around.  I loved watching as they perfected the Kung Fu approach … wildly dodging imaginary bad guys as they made their way up to the lane to throw the ball.  Mayhem!

After every good bowl, there were congratulatory yells, high fives and dancing.  Jump for Joy (while holding hands) Dancing.  Bowling Shoes Slide So Well on the Oiled Floors Soft Shoe.  And of course the all important Victory Dance.  Lanes and Games provided a steady steam of 80’s music over a sound system that was clearly installed in the 80’s.  

The kids were extremely well behaved.  The Hoff, on the other hand, was not.  How it happened, I don’t know.  Boo’s candlepin ball ended up in The Hoff’s ten pin lane.  We had been warned not to roll the candlepin ball in the ten pin lane; that little ball could break the ball return machine.  Bad news.  The Hoff, trying to help, ran down the middle of the lane ON THE NEWLY OILED FLOORBOARDS, to retrieve the candlepin ball.  The manager came out from behind the counter to stop her.  He was too late.  Her size 7 foot prints were clearly visible on lane 35.  The manager must not have been too mad.  He offered to hand wipe the oil off The Hoff’s shoes so she wouldn’t slip and fall on her ass.  Now that would have been fun to see.  

I remember the very first night I met The Hoff, she turned to Varsity and said “Do not tell me what to do!  Do not coach me!”  I’m sure he’s tried since then, but I guarantee she didn’t listen.  I found it quite ironic that, during our second game, Charlie turned to his mom and said, “Your advice isn’t working for me at all.  I’m going to do it my way”.  He turned around and threw the ball his way.  KAPOW!  Perfect strike!  Don’t tell those Hoffs what to do!  

The Hoff and Flo are doing our best to find future subs from within the ranks.   We are teaching our kids the joys of bowling, friendship and dancing with oily shoes.  These are skills that may not get them through life; but they will certainly get them through college. 

Third Rail: The Next Generation will be meeting at Lanes & Games on miserably cold, grey Friday afternoons this winter.  Parents welcome as long as they dance.  

The Hoff    167    128

Charlie       121     99

G                78    114  

Flo *          115     89

Boo                      82

Candy Bought: Skittles, Nestle Crunch, M&M’s

·      Okay, as a matter of pride, I must disclose the boys bowled with bumpers; moms did not.